those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize