I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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