Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize