You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
