I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
