So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize
