I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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