Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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