you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
