Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
