put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
