i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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