before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
