You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
