Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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