i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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