Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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