I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
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Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
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I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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