So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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