bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I am one with the molecules
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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