i just wanna soil my oats bro
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
