you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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