You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I forgot wine drunk hurts
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
