I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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