She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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