that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
my shit smells like andre
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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