elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
