Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
This show inspires me to have sex in space
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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