69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
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i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
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For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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