every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
