I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
