just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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