Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
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I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
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seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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