help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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