Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
im six kinds of drunk right now
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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