so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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