Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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