you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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