Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
