WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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