butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
