Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
