I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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