Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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