16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Everyone says I win the strip club
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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