I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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