let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
