I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
