he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
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they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
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So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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