I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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