im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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