So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
