Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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