Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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