Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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